The story does not make sense to me. I cannot find introduction
and conclusion, and body does not have strong logical sense. “there have two
things attracted me, one thing is a jar, this jar looks very special… another
one is a wallet” (1)The author just lists all thirteen items and they don’t have
any connections between themselves. “The
shopkeeper think I generous,” (2) and also it has some grammar errors. There are
many punctuation errors that will not published here. Compared with other
stories, it can be developed at topic sentences and show some meaningful things
in conclusion.
(1)yifuchen.blogspot.com/2012/09/yifu-chen.html, Sept.4,
2012
(2)same
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